How to bring out your most positive self

You want to be more positive? Want to be this person who doesn’t flip out but remains calm under pressure? Someone, who is focussed and keeps going when everyone else has already given up? Here’s how you can bring out your most positive self.

You have it in you

Do you find it easy to spot a negative aspect? The weather, the traffic jam, a bad hair day – do they sound like a good reason to complain about? Fantastic!

Finding something negative in every situation needs an immense amount of creativity. Have ever seen it that way? Since you already have this ability, all you need to do now is focus your amazing creativity on the positive. You’ll amaze yourself when you suddenly see a spark of joy or a wave of ease in a challenging moment.

Here’s an idea of what I mean:

Instead of „Damn I’m in a traffic jam“ you’ll tell yourself „I am comfortably sitting in my car and I am warm (or pleasantly cool – depending on the season)“.

Instead of „My to do list is exploding“ you’ll know „I am needed“.

Instead of „I have a bad hair day and I look awful“ you’ll think „Perfect day to wear the cap that brings out the color of my eyes so beautifully“.

Finding something negative in every situation shows an immense amount of creativity.

The moment something negative pops up in your amazing mind, you activate your creativity and find a positive thing or two. Everything is inside of you already.

The wisdom of Indiana Jones’ elbow

Now wait a minute…is there always something positive? Yes. I didn’t learn this in a seminar or from a book but from Indiana Jones. Remember the scene in „Raiders of the Lost Ark“ where Marion tries to mend Indy’s wounds?

She touches a few injured body parts and Indy keeps pulling back, making a big fuss because everything hurts. After a few attempts to help him, Marion runs out of patience and says: „Well, goddammit, Indy, where doesn’t it hurt?“.  He thinks about it for a moment and then points at his elbow.

What a powerful scene, isn’t it? It changed my life from the moment I first saw it. Indy taught me that no matter how desperate the situation might be, how bruised and battered we may feel, how many things are not going well, there is always, always, something that feels fine or that goes well.

Keep looking until you find your Indy elbow.

Yeah, I know this is just a movie but why not take a valuable life lesson from it? Stories have always been our way of handing down lessons, knowledge and wisdom from one generation to the next.

All we need is to be willing to find this one centimeter where we are ok. First, ask yourself: „Dammit, where doesn’t it hurt?“ or „Dammit, where isn’t everything going wrong?“. Then, keep looking until you find your Indy elbow. It might be a part of your body that doesn’t ache or it could be a space in your life that is whole and peaceful.

Indeed this part or space might be tiny, but it exists. As soon as you direct your attention there, you’ll feel positive energy awaken and do what it naturally does: embrace, expand and spread.

Practice makes pros

As with everything in life, positivity needs practice. You can train your positivity the same way you learned to read. That wasn’t a breeze, was it? Do you remember how confusing it was to look at the letters because all you saw were lines, some nicely curved, others neatly straight, but all of them empty, containing no useful information?

However, with practice you learned to see the messages and new worlds revealed themselves right in front of you. Now you have no trouble gathering information about bus schedules, travel destinations, the ingredients of a recipe and opening hours. You can read texts from your loved ones and feel how they warm your heart.

Like being able to read, positivity opens up new worlds and possibilities.

You can read to your kids and let the words come to life. Harry Potter can fly through your kid’s bedroom and Lord Voldemort’s spells can make you both shiver…all because you learned to decipher the messages of the once mysterious lines. All because you kept practicing your reading even though it was hard work.

Just like that, you can now practice to see positive stuff where once you only saw problems. Like being able to read, positivity opens up new worlds and possibilities. Your effort is so worth it.

Oh sweet habit

You probably know what happened next in our scene with Indy and Marion: After the elbow, which Marion patched up with a kiss, Indy suddenly found many more areas that didn’t hurt.

It’ll be the same for you. You’ll discover more and more positive things. Sure, in the beginning it is work, real work, until the magic of habit kicks in. Through repetition, you reprogram yourself. The negative reaction pattern is simply replaced by a positive one. 

Remember: There is always something positive. Keep practicing. You learned to see the messages contained in curved and straight lines and you can now learn to see positive stuff within everything in your life.

In the beginning it’s hard work, but then the magic of habit kicks in.

This new habit is be like a sweetener to bitter moments, it is a ray of light on dark days and it is the one who catches you, when challenging times bring you to your knees.

And you know what else? It deepens all the beautiful moments, all the best times of your life, and makes them glow and sparkle and nurture your soul like never before.

Comment below and share your views, worries, stories, positivity and thoughts with me. Or send me a DM on Instagram @suzannefreiherz