Relationship Hack: Toothpaste Tube Folder Meets Squeezer

Two humans fall in love and move in together. So romantic. But they have no idea what they’re getting themselves into. Before living together, did you know what will happen to your toothpaste tubes, once your loved one laid hands on them? Neither did I. Let’s talk about it.

Hello, I am Suzanne. I am a toothpaste tube folder. I carefully squeeze the toothpaste towards the opening while nimbly folding the end to prevent even the tiniest particle of paste escape from my attempt to make efficient use of the whole toothpaste.

This folding system works well, until…

Then I have it where I want it to be: right at the entrance of the tube. Always ready for a toothbrushing emergency. Tomato and mustard tubes, by the way, have the pleasure to experience the same procedure in my diligent hands.

This system works well, until a tube squeezer comes along and casually spreads the paste in all directions the tube is willing to budge. We’ll talk about the relationship issue arising from this a little later.

The Folding Fan

That’s me. I am a tube folding fan. Either you’ve read my previous description with constant nodding and a feeling of „Finally someone who gets me!“ or with a mild shake of the head wondering something like „What is wrong with her?“. If you belong to the latter, you, my dear fellow human, might be a casual squeezer.

The Casual Squeezer

Subscribers to the squeezing style will simply squeeze the tube anywhere with the only and absolutely logical goal of getting paste out of the small opening and onto the ready for action toothbrush.

Detailed explanations from folding fans about the logic and many benefits of folding the tube from back to front, leave them utterly unimpressed.

Tight Closer Meets On Top Placer

Aside from the completely different handling of tubes, we face even more challenges when we live together. It seems that some of us always close every lid, hinged and screw alike, tightly.

Some humans close pens until you hear the “click”.

All jars can rely on these types of humans that they don’t leak any liquid and all pens can rest assured that they will always be closed until you hear the “click”. Anyone else having Monica in „Friends“ flashing before their eyes?

Other humans, it appears, prefer to approach lids with a more casual and relaxed attitude by placing lids on the top of the jar like a hat, taking the screwing aspect of lids more as a decoration rather than an instruction. Also, they kindly grant hinged lids the freedom and space to not being captured in a fixed position.

Others take the screwing aspect of lids more as a decoration rather than an instruction.

I am both, a folding fan and a tight closer, and I have been living with a casual squeezer and top placer man for over 20 years. Even after all these years it is beyond me how one can sleep soundly with lids on the loose and tubes all crinkled and unrolled at the end.

Message in a tube

Surely you recognized which type of tube handler or jar closer you, your partner and your other family members are. Maybe you are a combination of two. The most common seems to be that folding fans are also tight closers and casual squeezes are also on top placers. And, let me guess…you are living with the exact opposite of yourself.

The casual squeezers remain immune to the folding enthusiasm of their partners.

It would be a great opportunity to use these differences as triggers to create a little dispute every now and then, wouldn’t it? I witnessed some of these in houses of friends: The folding fan complains about the crinkled tube, while the casual squeezer seems to remain immune to the folding and tightly closing enthusiasm of his or her partner.

Next time you find yourself being annoyed with your loved ones’ way to treat a lid or tube, how about stopping for a moment and becoming aware of the message within all such household containers: If the toothpaste tube was always exactly as you left it, your loved ones wouldn’t share the bathroom with you. You would live alone.

With this mindset, while trying to persuade the toothpaste to find its way through the tubes’ many crinkles and creases, I find myself being so happy and thankful that Tom lives with me and uses the same toothpaste. I won’t have it any other way.

If things are not exactly as you left them, it’s because you live with your loved one(s).

Remember the message of all the tubes, the jars and their fellow containers in your house when you are annoyed about any of them being too loose, too tight, too crinkly or too neat. If things are not exactly as you left them, it’s because there is this very special human living with you and using the same things as you.

Dearest folding fans, honored on top placers, cherished tight closers and valued casual squeezers, lets never take our loved ones for granted or forget how blessed we are to have these amazing beings close to us, making our world more exciting, beautiful, chaotic, organized and above all, enrich our lives in ways that can’t be squeezed into words.

Comment below and share your views, worries, stories, positivity and thoughts with me. Or send me a DM on Instagram @suzannefreiherz